just stretching my fingers

Has it been two months? Oops. The excuse this time is simultaneously pathetic and wonderful. I lost myself in my work (work-work, y’know) and abandoned all semblance of time management in my personal/creative life…but I secured the job! They’re going to keep me as a full-time hire, so I will no longer be an outside contractor. Have I finished reading a book since September? No! I don’t care. Honestly. If I had to use all of my tentacles to desperately clutch only one thing for the past few months, this was the right choice.

I’m attempting to reintroduce balance going into 2020. We know I love a list, but my 2020 list (which is not yet complete) features more broad intentions this year that I think will lead me to develop some new and improved habits. Sure, there’s a dash of the classic “go to the gym!” and “make more art!” but the approach is a bit different this time. There’s less rigidity this year. I don’t want to fall into any “all or nothing” traps that I’ve set for myself, so I’m not setting them. With regard to my personal projects, I’m keeping some Austin Kleon quotes (from “Show Your Work!”) in mind:

  • “You don’t find an audience for your work – they find you.”
  • “Think about your work as a never-ending process.”
  • “Amateur – an enthusiast who encourages her work in the spirit of love.”
  • “Be on the lookout for voids that you can fill with your own efforts.”
  • “Forget about being an expert or a professional, and wear your amateurism on your sleeve.”
  • “Be a documentarian of what you do.”
  • “Focus on days.”
  • “Don’t let sharing your work take precedence over actually doing your work.”

So I should document and share what I do, but not let sharing overshadow the doing. Which means establishing some discipline in my art life – not in what’s being done, but just that I do it…at all…

…I think this is the right time to tell you that (at the time of writing) I’m the only person in this coffee shop at 10:00am on the Saturday before New Year’s, and the managers are 100% looking at me from around the corner with expressions that say “how nice that we’re remaining open for this one chick to sip a latte for an hour and stare at a wall.”

There will undoubtedly be some changes coming with this website and ideally with my engagement with others on it, as well. I’m excited. I’m still mapping out what I want to achieve, but it’s a very ongoing variety of work and in the meantime I just wanted to pop in and say hello, I’m still here.

One other timely thing I wanted to bring up: it’s that time of year when Instagram encourages you to share your “Top 9” (top nine most liked posts) from the year as sort of a “these were my best moments of 2019” tribute. Instagram’s algorithm allowed me to notice that Nina Agdal, a professional model with over 1 million followers, posted the following on the subject:

“I’m not gonna let Instagram tell me what my top 9 of 2019 is gonna be cus i know it would just be pics of my tits and ass so i made my own.” – @ninaagdal

Nina then included a self-made picture collage featuring shots of her holding her new nephew, a screenshot of a personal best on a run, and a selfie after getting her driver’s license, among others.

…I love this idea? I don’t know if she originated it, but big shout-out to you, Nina. I really doubt anyone’s most-liked posts truly reflect who they are and the most special moments of their year. Unless…no, I can’t come up with an exemption. So here’s my top 9 of 2019! Safe celebrating to all and to all a hopeful, fresh start. 🙂

2019 featuring a very well-executed surprise birthday party, my first sloth experience, moving in with Sean and starting our garden, exposing my blog on Instagram and being blown away by the response, acting alongside some of my favorite actors and TV characters, publicly posting poetry despite being terrified, getting my current job and 24/7 access to free coffee, standing up for a cause I love, and wrapping it all up at home & with family (and delightfully ugly sweaters).